Dear Noel,

Last week, I was in for a job as a primary school teacher in a remote rural area.

It was all going swimmingly, until the chairman of the board of management started asking a few questions. He wanted to know about stuff I hadn’t really learned in training college – a two-man full-back line, a third midfielder, and something about the low ball up to the corner-forward line.

I fudged the answers, and I have to admit I was pretty rattled. He wanted to do a practical, too, and took out a hurley and sliotar, but the other members of the interviewing panel looked mortified. Eventually one of them mumbled this could wait for the second interview, and I was off the hook.

I was shocked by the whole experience. I’ve got some legal advice on the matter, and it seems the panel completely ignored Department guidelines on how these interviews should be conducted.

Now, I’ve been invited back for the second interview. I really don’t know what to do. Would you have any advice for me, Noel?

- Nuala, name and address withheld, pending outcome of legal proceedings.

Noel replies – A few things Nuala – Never cross your own goal; If the ball keeps coming back to you, change sides; First-time ball is generally the best; Play the whistle; Let the high ball in low; Every blow a funeral; Never mind the length, get the distance; Dummy left, go left.